To Play the Violin

“Do you know what the violin means to me? A musician has to play. If I were punished, not lauded for playing, if I were not paid, not appreciated, even then I should have to play my violin. I would brave punishment to play, just as some men brave punishment for their religion.”

-- Fritz Kreisler

I love the violin. I may not love it more than my religion. I may not love it more than my family. But I am absolutely in love with my violin. It brings me indescribable joy. And right now, at this point in my education, I am growing SO much. Every lesson I have, I find new things that make me sound better and make me fall even more in love with with my Swietlinski from Nowy Targ, Poland. Every day, I've made it a priority to practice, and I'm falling in love with that too. It's amazing the change that has come upon me in my practicing efforts. Perhaps those two months in India away from my instrument made me realize that I was taking my talent, my major, all my opportunities for granted. That's probably what happened, because ever since I've been back, it hasn't felt like a chore to play scales for an hour. I am so grateful for all the teachers I've had throughout my life. For my chance to play in the Utah Valley Youth Symphony in high school. To be the concertmistress of the Wasatch High School orchestra. I only wish I hadn't taken these things for granted like I know I did. Sometimes I think about how much better I could be if I had only taken advantage of the past 17 years I've played the violin. Sure, I've done alright, but why wasn't I absolutely and totally in love with it?? It is amazing! But I am so glad that I'm realizing it now.
Well, I guess I'll try paying it back by teaching. I adore teaching with all my heart. So, this will be my goal: to try to encourage my students to do what I didn't -- to let music, and more specifically, the violin take over their lives. Music is a language. I tell my students this as I teach them how to read music. It's a language, just like Spanish or Chinese. But it's universal. Everyone feels music in some way. It doesn't matter where you're from, boy or girl, young or old, blonde or brunette. If you can hear, if you can feel, music can touch you. And how much more amazing is it to CREATE it? I can't even explain it. But it is spectacular, and one of the best and most rewarding parts of my life.
So, finally, that gift for Christmas at age 4 is totally and absolutely appreciated. I didn't know what I was getting into when I asked for a violin. I didn't know how it would change me, how perhaps it would make me a better person. And I think it has.
I love my violin. Now, I've finally decided -- if there was no one to hear me play, if there was no one to teach, no orchestra to play with, no one appreciating the art . . .

I
would
still
play.