To Play the Violin

“Do you know what the violin means to me? A musician has to play. If I were punished, not lauded for playing, if I were not paid, not appreciated, even then I should have to play my violin. I would brave punishment to play, just as some men brave punishment for their religion.”

-- Fritz Kreisler

I love the violin. I may not love it more than my religion. I may not love it more than my family. But I am absolutely in love with my violin. It brings me indescribable joy. And right now, at this point in my education, I am growing SO much. Every lesson I have, I find new things that make me sound better and make me fall even more in love with with my Swietlinski from Nowy Targ, Poland. Every day, I've made it a priority to practice, and I'm falling in love with that too. It's amazing the change that has come upon me in my practicing efforts. Perhaps those two months in India away from my instrument made me realize that I was taking my talent, my major, all my opportunities for granted. That's probably what happened, because ever since I've been back, it hasn't felt like a chore to play scales for an hour. I am so grateful for all the teachers I've had throughout my life. For my chance to play in the Utah Valley Youth Symphony in high school. To be the concertmistress of the Wasatch High School orchestra. I only wish I hadn't taken these things for granted like I know I did. Sometimes I think about how much better I could be if I had only taken advantage of the past 17 years I've played the violin. Sure, I've done alright, but why wasn't I absolutely and totally in love with it?? It is amazing! But I am so glad that I'm realizing it now.
Well, I guess I'll try paying it back by teaching. I adore teaching with all my heart. So, this will be my goal: to try to encourage my students to do what I didn't -- to let music, and more specifically, the violin take over their lives. Music is a language. I tell my students this as I teach them how to read music. It's a language, just like Spanish or Chinese. But it's universal. Everyone feels music in some way. It doesn't matter where you're from, boy or girl, young or old, blonde or brunette. If you can hear, if you can feel, music can touch you. And how much more amazing is it to CREATE it? I can't even explain it. But it is spectacular, and one of the best and most rewarding parts of my life.
So, finally, that gift for Christmas at age 4 is totally and absolutely appreciated. I didn't know what I was getting into when I asked for a violin. I didn't know how it would change me, how perhaps it would make me a better person. And I think it has.
I love my violin. Now, I've finally decided -- if there was no one to hear me play, if there was no one to teach, no orchestra to play with, no one appreciating the art . . .

I
would
still
play.

India Post #4

This morning I woke up at 6:00 A.M. in my bed in Utah. I realized I was home (which was probably why I was so comfortable . . . a real live mattress!) Since I'm jet-lagged and can't go back to sleep, let me write one final post about my incredible adventure in India.
It's hard to really describe the experience I had the last 6 weeks in India. Life-changing? Yes, but how do you really write that out? Without taking you from our home in West Marredpally down to the bus stop, then to Baliginagar and the surrounding slums, I don't think you would truly understand what I've seen. How could you possibly understand how miserable our bus rides on the 211M could be? Or how that was also one of my favorite places, because when I got a seat, I felt like that was when I truly saw India?
Without taking you to my piano lessons, I don't think you can feel the happiness in Usha's smile, comprehend the tears welling up in Saritha's eyes when she plays out of the regular hymnbook for the first time, or feel my joy at being able to teach music, in India of all places!
Without taking you on a rickshaw, I don't think you can relate to the almost nauseating lack of traffic law, or how the beggars can walk right up to you at a stop light, grab your arm and if you refuse to look at them, pinch you. Hard.
I don't think you can visualize all the shops, advertisements, and the garbage everywhere. Everywhere.
And the smell. How do you describe the smells of India, one minute walking by a mountain of garbage, the next moment a stand of jasmine flowers? How do you describe the constant honking, the sounds of vendors, the sounds of chanting? How can you taste the food I tasted, the wonderful chicken biryani made by Jaya, or the exceedinly spicy noodles in Jaipur?
And most of all, how can I explain the beautiful people of India to you? How can I tell you about how adorable the school children were in their school uniforms, and how they would wave to us and say hello?  And the gorgeous women, with a baby on their hip, or a water pot on their heads. And still dressed in their best saree and bangles with their hair neatly braided, despite their poverty.
Or Jaya, Poojitha, and Ruchita? My best friends in India.

But here, I will try:

 Home sweet home for some in the slums

 Standard filth

 Being asked to take pictures with Indians, I'm a celebrity cause I'm white

 Garbage pile near our home

 Rick-shaws

 Mahesh

 Becoming best friends with the locals

 Walking with the SAPID ladies, Urmi and Mary

 The children attacking me, asking me to take a picture of them

 Friday market near our home

 Braids

 Wisdom

 Taj Mahal

 Rice and curry, eaten with my hands

Finished school mural

Riding an elephant

Piano recital. Usha (left), Saritha (right)

 Jaya, Poojitha, Ruchita

Welcome

India Post #3

It was only a weekend trip with most everyone on my team. Yet it turned out to be one of the craziest and most awesome adventures of my LIFE.
This last Friday, after our workday, ten of us headed to the Hyderabad train station expecting to get on a train around 9 and have our very own beds in a sleeper car. Turns out, we were all still on the waiting list. However, by the time the train got there, we had three "beds" to our name. So, we piled on them, waiting for other beds to open up. Miraculously, three other beds did. So, I spent Friday night sharing a tiny bed with my team member Eryn, hardly getting any sleep. Oh, and the squatter potties where there's just a hole and you just go ON the track was also a pretty hardcore adventure. BUT on Saturday morning around 7:30, our train pulled into Hampi, an AMAZING temple town.
We spent the day touring ruins of Hindu temples and palaces. It was indescribably awesome. All these HUGE temples with super intricate and ornate carvings. They were incredible.  
However, that night was probably the biggest adventure . . . We were at dinner, and I had just finished my delicious panner butter masala when we heard a *thud*. Something had fallen out of the tree onto the girl across the table from me. She reached behind her because she could feel something touching her. All it took was her to scream and say the consonant "sn . . ." for my adrenaline to kick in. Apparently, my team members had never seen me move that fast, ever. I ran up the stairs near our table and stayed there. Turns out, a 6 foot SNAKE had fallen out of the tree. I was absolutely terrified. You see, snakes are probably my number one fear on this planet. I just feel super grateful that I didn't see it or feel it, cause I definitely would have passed out for sure. I spent the rest of dinner at the top of the step.
I made it shopping and back to our quaint but charming hotel just fine and woke up the next day to have an experience that totally made up for the events of the night before. We went to a Hindu temple near our hotel, walked through it to a river, and witnessed the bathing of an ELEPHANT. That's right, an elephant. We sat there and watched, and a few members of my group actually got in the water and helped scrub her. Then, the elephant walked back to the temple where it was painted. Last, the coolest part: We got in a line with a single rupee. When it was our turn, we actually gave the rupee to the elephant, who took it in her trunk, and passed it to a man beside her collecting the money. Then, she lifted her trunk and set it on our heads. It was quick, but it was such a surreal experience. The rest of the day was spent visiting various ruins and Hindu temples.
When it was time to go back to the train station, we found out again that we had been wait listed. This time, we didn't get any seats, so we ended up cancelling and getting on a bus. It was a miserable 10 hour bus ride between Kendra and a large Indian man. But I survived it, showered, and gave an awesome piano lesson this morning. All I need now is a full night's sleep on the maybe inch width mattress that I've come to know and love.
I'm loving all the adventures I'm having here. Some of them are amazing, some miserable, but either way, India is stretching me. It's making me do things I would not normally do. India is making me grow!

India Post #2

This place is incredible. I probably say that a lot. But there is just SO much to see, SO many people, SO many smells, sounds, tastes, sights. It's incredible.

This was a different week. Most of it was spent working on my project. I am here with HELP International. When we think of an idea for a project, we have to go through a process called a "project proposal". This requires that I spent time at our house here, thinking about all the details of my project and compiling it into a document stating why I'm doing it, how I'm going to do it, what my goals are with it, and how much  money I'm going to spend. It was slightly stressful to figure everything out, and I had to propose it twice to my country directors. But the first time, they gave so many suggestions that were very appreciated. The second time, it was accepted. That day I gave my first piano lesson. I had planned on 5 students, but only 2 showed up. Indians run on a very different time schedule. If you say 11:00, they're going to come at 11:30. It's just always like that. But, I taught those two students AND one of my country directors, Modesta, came and I gave her a lesson too! It's going to be a challenging project if I can't get everyone there when I want them there. But it's going to be awesome. Somehow, it's going to work!

Also, I got to plant THREE gardens yesterday in the slums. Two of them were for older couples, and one was for a man who was convinced that us white Americans would be good luck for his seeds. I got a sweet farmers tan and went to bed at 9:30 on a Friday night. I'm definitely convinced there's a different, hotter sun here in India.

INDIA POST #1

Hello! I am currently in West Marredpally, Secunderabad, India. And it is amazing.
Here are my adventures so far:
Day 1. The Mango.
I got to India around 3 A.M. a week ago. I slept a little, and then for breakfast, I decided to have a fresh mango. I have never had one before, and it was delicious and juicy. HOWEVER, about a half hour after eating it, my lips felt like they were swollen, I was really itchy, and I threw up. And then I felt like I couldn't breath. My first rick-shaw ride was to the Lions-Patny Hospital down the street where I spent my day. I got released at 6, after having an IV in my hand all day. (Luckily my country director Modesta took amazing care of me all day, being able to speak in the local language Telegu to all my health care providers.) Once home, all I wanted to do was shower. The water was out though, as well as the power. I just sat in the bathroom and cried, wondering what the heck I was doing in India. It was the most awful day. BUT then the water turned on, and even though I showered in the dark, it was glorious.
India got so much better.
Day 2. The Slums.
I was really introduced to the transportation here on Friday. First a rick-shaw. When you call a rick-shaw, you haggle the price with them for a while. Basically, they see that you're white and try to charge you double. So, you cut any price they say in half, maybe even a hundred rupees off of that, and you just offer it. Sometimes they realized you know what's going on, and sometimes they just drive off, almost running over your feet. Once getting a rick you try to fit as many people as you can in it. That day we fit 10 people. Technically, it was 9, including the driver, but a random local jumped on while we were driving. THEN the bus. We caught a bad day/time because it was really hot and I was squished up against a ton of women in sarees. One woman gave us all flowers, and a crazy old guy wouldn't stop talking to us in Telegu. Once we were at the slums, my mind was blown. The conditions people live in are indescribable. It is so hard. They live in a shack made of sticks and a tarp. Or a cement bunker looking thing. We had our first meeting for a girl's group a girl on our team created. It's a group of teenagers, and they were very shy. But BEAUTIFUL. These people are absolutely gorgeous.
Day 3. Sight-seeing.
Golconda Fort was built in the 14th century, and there are no rules about where you can or can't climb. So we were climbing all over the place. It was awesome. We also went to some Tombs of some kings. They were like mini Taj Mahals. Amazing. I think the most hilarious part of the day is the number of times we were stopped as a group and asked if they could take a picture of US. We are like celebrities here. I don't think people see white people very often. Especially me and a couple other girls with our lighter hair, we are novelties. THEN on request of many of the seasoned members of the team we ate at Papa Johns for dinner. BUT I did have a Tandoori Chicken Pizza. India pizza. It was awesome.
Day 4. Church and Monsoon.
So they have a pretty sizable ward here. They just created the Hyderabad Stake, and we literally live down the street from the Stake Center. It is an awesome building. I walked into the chapel and immediately was asked to play the piano for them. It was great. Relief Society was interesting since the teacher would say something in English and then translate it into Telegu right then. On the way home from church, we discovered that Monsoon season had started. Which was rather gross as we trekked the lakes of who knows what in the streets. LUCKILY, showers are a daily thing here, which I am so grateful for! It really made me realize how wonderful cleaning someone's feet during Christ's time
Day 5. Training Day.
We had training at home most of the day for all 6 of the new people. We had lunch at a place called Om Shanti, and I had some amazing Paneer Tikka Masala and Naan.
Day 6. LEPRA and SAPID.
We met with two of our partners and ate at Om Shanti again. Then Girl's Group again. Wonderful.
Day 7. CARPED and MV.
We met with another two of our partners and ate at a place called Paradise for lunch. They're famous for their Chicken Briyani, and they put WAY too much on my plate.
Day 8. Today!
It's all about project planning today. I am working on a plan to teach piano to some members of the Church here. Lots of details to figure out, but I'm really excited. I'm going to Girl's Group later. I love it!

India is a place everyone should experience. There are so many hard things. Yesterday a beggar was pulling on my arm while I was inside a taxi. So many rancid smells. There are piles and piles of garbage everywhere. So many crazy sounds and sights and tastes. It's humid. It's a small space to live in. But it is wonderful. All the children say hello to us. All the women wear gorgeous sarees every day. There are so many extremes. Such poverty, but such beauty. Such horrible smells, but such wonderful smelling food. Such annoying honking, but such a beautiful language. Such scary looking beggars, but such kind smiles and pleading eyes.

This place is incredible.

I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz

Wow. Hello there. Remember me?
Have you heard this song? It's amazing. Seriously.

Here is a list of  TEN things I will never give up on:

1. My testimony. I know what I know and like Joseph Smith, I can never deny anything. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I am His daughter. And His son Jesus Christ atoned for me. He feels everything that I feel. I am saved through him. And because of His resurrection, I can be with my wonderful family for all time and eternity, which is such a comfort as grandparents and an uncle have passed away. I know that Joseph Smith restored this gospel. I know that we have living prophets on the earth today. The Book of Mormon is the word of God. The temple brings me so much peace. Everything about the gospel makes me happy. I will never give up on my testimony.

2. My family. They are my best friends. My Dad is one of the hardest-working, wisest, and funniest guys I know. My mom is so sweet, always seeking out how to help others and taking such good care of our family. My brother Seth has the best laugh I've ever heard. He's strong, smart, and he's going to do amazing things with his life. And he's going to be an awesome missionary in less than a year. Rebekah is gorgeous, so smart, so talented. She is so fun. Luke is also smart, funny, and so fun to be around. I love my family with every fiber of my being. I will never give up on my family.

3. My goal to teach violin. It's been the only thing I've had my heart set on for as long as I can remember. (Okay, so 1st grade, but still. It's been a long time.) I am adoring my music program at UVU. So, my current major is Music Education. This implies that I will teach music (namely, orchestra) in the schools. Recently, I have decided to declare a double major, adding a Violin Performace degree to Music Education. This is exciting since the performance program will be new this next fall. And I get to be one of the pioneers to help start it. I am so blessed to be down here, doing things that I never thought I would have the opportunity to do. I definitely would not have at many other schools. I am preparing myself by teaching private lessons right now. I've got my 9 students, and we're having a Spring Recital on Thursday. It's going to be excellent. Music is so healing to me. It calms my troubled heart . . . not that my heart is often troubled. But in all the busy-ness around me, I just have to sit down at orchestra, or play through any piece, and I feel at peace with the world. And my greatest goal is to help my current and future students realize this. It's so hard to explain! But I will teach orchestra, private lessons, my children. I love it. I love it. I love it. I will never give up on my goal to teach violin.

4. My love of simple pleasures. Like ice-cream (had some today. With blackberries and caramel in it.) Putting my feet in a pool (did that today. It was incredible.) Watching a chick flick. Swinging on a swingset. Staring at a fire. Reading a novel (finished Jane Eyre today. Amazing!) Singing loudly to songs in the car. Eating with chopsticks. Wearing bright colors. Playing a hymn on the piano. Looking at old pictures. Going on walks. Riding horses with my Dad. Going to lunch with my mom. Going grocery shopping with my roomates. Going to the temple. Praying. So many things in your everyday lives that aren't significant. Many little things that happen every day are such tender mercies. They are so important to notice. I'm so grateful for every little thing that happens in my life. I will never give up my love of the simple pleasures and noticing the tender mercies in my life.

5. Learning from my mistakes. Like making sure I don't lock my keys in the car, again (did that for the third time in the past year a couple weeks ago.) And so many others. I will never give up on learning from my mistakes.

6. All the wonderful people around me. I've been blessed with wonderful roomates, visiting teachers, home teachers, people in my classes, people in my ward, students I teach, boys I've been on dates with, professors, institute teachers, bishops, extended family, best friends. I need to be better aware of the needs they have. To not be a taker, more of a giver. I will never give up on all the wonderful people around me.

7. My health. In the past, I've been very caught up in body image. I've made unhealthy choices, and not your typical eating junk food choices. More like not eating enough. Not exercising. Stuff like that. I still have a lot of improvement to make. I will never give up on my health.

8. My love of learning. I am in love with the classroom setting. Last summer I took Hunter's Safety. Half because I wanted to, and half because I wanted to be in a classroom again. It makes me so happy to sit in a lecture and soak in some knowledge. I love expanding my mind! I will never give up on my love of learning.

9. Dressing well. I know it sounds funny, but it has been ingrained in my mind to get ready every day. To be clean, well groomed. I guess I follow my mom's example: no matter how late into the day it is, there's still time to get clean and looke presentable. I've learned that Indian women (who I will meet soon) braid their hair and put on their best sarees, even in their extreme poverty. It really says a lot about a person with their willingness to do that. I will never give up on looking classy.

10. My desire for adventure. I like to try new things. I love it, in fact. Weird food. I'll try it. Repelling off the third floor of our apartment building, I'll do it twice. Going camping in January, check. Going to India. . . almost! 22 days left. I want to travel. I want to try new things, as long as I'm able. I will never give up on my desire for adventure.

"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough."

Each Life That Touches Ours For Good

So I don't have pictures of all of them, but I LOVE all the friends I've made this year. (I even have friends that are boys, even though the pictures don't show.) Life is good. I feel loved! And I love the people I live with and go to church with and go to school with. They all do so much for me, I love the hellos and the smiles I get. I am so grateful to have them in my life!

I am also amazed at how the Gospel can be my friend too. I know that Heavenly Father and Christ are my best friends. And my family of course.

And school is my friend! I love it with all my heart! And my violin, we are best best friends. Seriously.

People are amazing.

Fine By Me by Andy Grammer

I'm just saying,

it's fine by me

If you never leave

And we can live like this

forever

It's fine by me.

Seriously. I am so blessed every day. I never want my blessings to leave!

Let's make a list:

1. I get to be a music major. Every day. I am absolutely in love with every single one of my classes.

2. I get to live with fantastic roomates. They inspire me! They make me want to be better. They make it so easy to make good choices. They are wonderful.

3. I have been to the temple every week so far this semester. It is magical and addicting! I had no idea. At the beginning of the year I made a goal to go to the temple once a month . . . but I'm pretty sure this is getting revised NOW. I'm going once a week!

4. My car works. The heater in it works. So wonderful.

5. I get to teach NINE violin students. I am so grateful I have a job I adore!

6. I get to make healthy meals for myself every day. And occasionally, Ellie gets me to excercise.

7. VIOLIN. I call my violin my boyfriend. I am loving all the pieces I'm playing right now. Another de Beriot piece (so romantic!), and symphony and chamber orchestra pieces. I moved up to 3rd chair in chamber and 4th in Symphony.

8. I didn't completely fail when I accompanied the ward choir last Sunday! Actually, I did AWESOME. So, there was probably a lot of divine intervention. But it went absolutely great.

9. I'm taking ballet again. And that's all I have to say about that.

10. Our internet, shower, lights, and heater are all working in the apartment.

So, fine. My life isn't perfect. I haven't been on a date since November. It makes me so frustrated. Music theory is going to be hecka hard. And it's only the first month. I feel perpetually poor. And I keep having to fill my car up with gas.

But I like dwelling on the blessings better.

They're fine by me.