When you're dating, you have this veil over your eyes, seeing only the good in the other person, spending every possible minute together, making sure that you look and act desirable. It's a wonderful thing, but once you're married, it seems that the veil goes away. No longer are you trying to impress each other, he's going to see your hair first thing in the morning, and it's not going to be pretty, but hopefully he'll love you anyways. You get comfortable with each other over time.
Now you get to see each other in every aspect of life -- with and without make-up, post-workout sweatiness, crying, complaining, snarky remarks that you don't mean, being a couch potato, being frustrated at little things, not doing laundry often enough, buying something big without talking about it first, among other surprising things. Some things may make you angry. Some things may make you sad. But you make it through every day, hopefully talking it out and not letting annoyed feeling start piling up. You remember that you love him. You realize that he's trying. He's working so hard to get through school, to help provide for you. You need to remember that. And learn to learn from these experiences.
You have your own family now! It's just you and him. When he's not there, you're by yourself. For the first time, (and hopefully this is not the case for everyone), you find yourself rather lonely. Because although you have this amazing, wonderful, and handsome husband . . . . he's not going to be there all the time. Dang it, that's just not how it works! And lots of friends that you had before are leaving you alone, because duh -- you must be kissing each other and cuddling all day long now that you're married. HA! A lot of the friends you had before are still in the singles world, and they're still trying to meet people and develop relationships. So, it's understandable -- they have their objectives and lives, and you've moved on to the next "level".
So, you go to school, or you work, and you continue trying to develop yourself. Maybe you finally start working out, or trying new recipes, or getting caught up on some Netflix (does that count as improving yourself? Hmm . . .). You clean your house. And you would clean it again, but you already did that. Life is sometimes busy, life is sometimes boring.
But then your husband comes home from work, or his monthly military training. Or maybe you were the one who was gone, and you're coming home to him. You hug, kiss maybe, try to catch up on your day. You eat, and then the evening is yours. You hang out in that apartment, just the two of you. Maybe you do something together -- a movie, a game, a conversation, a walk around the neighborhood. Maybe you've got homework. Maybe you just look at Pinterest while he plays some stupid computer game. Then you get ready for bed.
And as you pray together and then lay down next to one other, you remember that this is incredible. The day may have been mundane. It might have been really stressful. But at this moment, with just the two of you, you remember that this is your new family, this is the man you get to be with forever, and you just love him so dang much! And so you tell him. And he says it back. And your soul is just so happy. You are SO glad you're married!
Then you wake up the next day and try to remember it all over again. And while it's different than dating because you're not trying anymore to impress each other, it's okay. You know why? Because being married to someone, and sharing all the aspects of your life with each other is on a level that only the two of you can even comprehend. It is an adjustment, because where it seems that things are different because he is not writing you love notes or doing the same things you used to do while dating, you know that he loves you because he's trying to be his best self. He works, goes to school, maybe occasionally writes you a note or brings you flowers, and that is enough.
And it becomes more important for you to reach out to other people. A support system of married friends, possibly single friends, and family. While it seems like people have forgotten you, it is also on you to try not to forget as well.
And then suddenly you've been married for a year. BAM! Next up, continuing to support each other's dreams and goals, children someday soon, and forever and every day strengthening of our communication, testimonies, and overall bonds.
I know without a doubt, that being married is the most amazing thing. It has been interesting to see how the relationship between Colten and I has changed over the past couple of years. And it is such an incredible blessing to know that we get to continue this relationship FOREVER. AND EVER. AND EVER. It is the best gift our Heavenly Father gave us, and I'm excited to see how life goes for us.
